Writing 'the KISS'

Image by StockSnap from Pixabay

Writing 'the KISS'

The FIRST kiss! I'm editing today and I realize my kiss scene is a bit of a flop...😂

So I did what all good writers do, I googled it! 😉

Once I found my way to wikiHow: How to Describe a Kiss, I knew I was in the right place. I had the basics. It was the actual kiss part that needed work. After a bit of practice, I am pleased with the current version (original available at the bottom). 💏💋💏

New KISS Scene

Ruby didn’t know what to do or say. At first, she hesitated, but then she stopped thinking. Giving his hand a soft squeeze, she leaned in to rest her lips on his cheek for moment. Just a quick gentle peck. Her hand slipped from his and she leaned back, more breathless than she expected.

Kellan turned. Taking her chin in his hands, he scanned every inch of her face, and gently brought her gaze to his. “Ruby, I want to kiss you. Not just right now, but I have...for a while now…you’re so…"

“Shhh, no argument here,” Ruby tried to breathe. Everything sounded muffled under the pounding in her chest, “I think you should follow your instincts.”

“I was afraid you were going to say that,” he teased and pulled her closer, “My god, you are breathtaking.”

With an exhale, Ruby closed her eyes. When their lips met, she went gooey all over, sending her entire being into sensory overdrive. It didn’t matter that his 5 o’clock shadow prickled her cheeks, his lips were soft and gentle. His touch was strong and warm. Plus, he smelled faintly of the Wood after a good storm. With little thought, she slid one hand to his chest while the other found the nape of his neck.

He wrapped his arms around her, drawing her deeper into the moment. His lips parted, but he froze. Rigid. Still.

Then Ruby did, too. Someone was here. Again.

The two pulled apart and jumped to their feet. With a swift tuck of his arm, Kellan guided Ruby behind him, out of harm’s way.

Hey, readers and writers...any constructive feedback? Leave a comment or email me at aspenhitewiter@gmail.com

Regards,

~Aspen Hite

***Original for comparison

Letting go of her hand, Kellan turned her and reached up to cup her chin in his hands. His eyes scanned every inch of her face, “I want to kiss you. I’ve wanted to for a long time…”

“I think you should,” Ruby whispered. Her own words muffled by the pounding of her heart.

Their lips met. It was soft and tender. Then Kellan tensed. Ruby did too. Someone was here. Again. Her eyes flashed as Kellan jumped to his feet, tucking Ruby was behind him, out of harm’s way.

Advice from Mulligan the Wise: Old Dogs and New Tricks

 

Does Your Dog Write Stories? Mine Does. 
Meet Mulligan, my 10 yr old black lab and one of my greatest muses. (***He's also pure perfection with the sweetest soul of any creature I've ever met, so there's that.💓 )

Well, he's been working on this story, and he's adamant I share it. He worked very hard on in, so please be patient. And remember...he's a dog.
Enjoy his story 😉📝🐕‍

Hello, my name is Mulligan. I'm also known as Muggies, Snuggies, Snug-a-bug, Snugtasticness, Sweet Boy, The Sweet Angel Baby, Big Silky, and in truth, the list goes on...my lady has an imagination and comes up with new stuff all the time. She might be a little crazy, but she's mine, and I love her.

Anyway, I'm the one who doesn't get as much screen time. I imagine you've all heard about Bo? It’s always ‘Bo this’ and ‘Bo that’…UGH! I call him Jerky (well, I have other names, but my lady said they weren't appropriate for a public story). And let me tell you... Jerky's no peach to live with. 🙄

When that guy arrived, my life was turned upside down! I lost my toys in the house for a looooong time because he couldn't play responsibly. He's rough. He's steals my stuff. He jumps on me. He takes my lady's attention. He's a menace. Yes, I know he adores me deep down in his odd socially inept way, but still!

Anyway, the point is not to wallow about Jerky's flaws, it's about sharing what I've learned. With my age has come some wisdom. Yes, he is younger and faster (...I mean seriously, have you seen him move? Sheesh! Like lightning ⚡ ), and he's way more agile, but I'm smarter. Plain and simple.

I want the toy Jerky is chewing on? No problem. I just sidle up to my lady, snuggle and give her a big wet kiss. She turns to goo and it drives Jerky wild. He dismisses everything in front of him and runs to her! This is great for me...I just got my snuggle on and now the Lovesac and the Kong are open...free...and ripe for the picking. Plus once I get to all the glory, my lady will never let him take it from me. Sucker. Too bad he's impulsive and obstinate. But he's learning, too.

In fact, we recently went on a road trip. Not only did my lady put Jerky in his place, but she showed me I'm really the boss. In fact, I've always been the boss...it was inside of me all the time.

So now, I'm here to tell you old dogs can learn new tricks. Totally. Sometimes all on their own. Sometimes with the help of others.

By Mulligan the Wise (aka Boss Man)