Writing 'the KISS'

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Writing 'the KISS'

The FIRST kiss! I'm editing today and I realize my kiss scene is a bit of a flop...😂

So I did what all good writers do, I googled it! 😉

Once I found my way to wikiHow: How to Describe a Kiss, I knew I was in the right place. I had the basics. It was the actual kiss part that needed work. After a bit of practice, I am pleased with the current version (original available at the bottom). 💏💋💏

New KISS Scene

Ruby didn’t know what to do or say. At first, she hesitated, but then she stopped thinking. Giving his hand a soft squeeze, she leaned in to rest her lips on his cheek for moment. Just a quick gentle peck. Her hand slipped from his and she leaned back, more breathless than she expected.

Kellan turned. Taking her chin in his hands, he scanned every inch of her face, and gently brought her gaze to his. “Ruby, I want to kiss you. Not just right now, but I have...for a while now…you’re so…"

“Shhh, no argument here,” Ruby tried to breathe. Everything sounded muffled under the pounding in her chest, “I think you should follow your instincts.”

“I was afraid you were going to say that,” he teased and pulled her closer, “My god, you are breathtaking.”

With an exhale, Ruby closed her eyes. When their lips met, she went gooey all over, sending her entire being into sensory overdrive. It didn’t matter that his 5 o’clock shadow prickled her cheeks, his lips were soft and gentle. His touch was strong and warm. Plus, he smelled faintly of the Wood after a good storm. With little thought, she slid one hand to his chest while the other found the nape of his neck.

He wrapped his arms around her, drawing her deeper into the moment. His lips parted, but he froze. Rigid. Still.

Then Ruby did, too. Someone was here. Again.

The two pulled apart and jumped to their feet. With a swift tuck of his arm, Kellan guided Ruby behind him, out of harm’s way.

Hey, readers and writers...any constructive feedback? Leave a comment or email me at aspenhitewiter@gmail.com

Regards,

~Aspen Hite

***Original for comparison

Letting go of her hand, Kellan turned her and reached up to cup her chin in his hands. His eyes scanned every inch of her face, “I want to kiss you. I’ve wanted to for a long time…”

“I think you should,” Ruby whispered. Her own words muffled by the pounding of her heart.

Their lips met. It was soft and tender. Then Kellan tensed. Ruby did too. Someone was here. Again. Her eyes flashed as Kellan jumped to his feet, tucking Ruby was behind him, out of harm’s way.