Thirteen Years

 

📷 credit: Tumisu

Thirteen Years 

I had to be in 8th grade, sitting on the back patio with my younger brother as he taught me to inhale a cigarette. We grew up with a smoker (in the car, the bathroom, the kitchen, and the living room). A cloud of smoke was normal, and for a LONG time, I thought of it as a sign of fun and sophistication.

Thank the heavens, perspectives change.

For many years (nineteen, to be exact), I was a die-hard smoker. I mean, it was so "relaxing" anytime. There was nothing better than a smoke after a good meal, especially if wine and adult beverages were involved. Or in the morning with coffee. Enjoying a book. After sex. In the car. On a break from work. Getting ready for a night out. All the time.

I lit up for just about any reason and was one of those young 20-somethings who would roll into the gym parking lot with a cig hanging out of my mouth and then light one up before I pulled out of the parking lot afterward. 

For many years, I justified my smoking by telling myself I’d quit when it caught up to me physically. I mean, I made it to the gym five times a week. I was 'healthy." One day, I noticed the new lines around my mouth and under my eyes. My skin was dull. And then, I had to pause at the top of the stairs. 

For the following six months, I smoked in blinding denial of the damage and havoc I was inflicting on my sweet meat suit, my temple, my body, the only home I have. Until one day, I saw things clearly and my denial fell away.

That day was Saturday, March 19, 2011.

I’d just returned home to Arizona after meeting my youngest niece for the first time. This entailed a quick (long) roundtrip cross-country road trip with a husband and two dogs, none of whom traveled well in a not-so-large vehicle. 

Upon returning to my cozy ranch outside of Phoenix, I made sure all was well, and all creatures were accounted for before I toddled out to the patio with my bottle of wine, a pack of smokes, and a stack of gossip magazines to decompress from travel. 

That Saturday night, I devoured the magazines, polished off the wine, and inhaled half the pack. 

It was the last time I smoked a cigarette. 🚭

Between sheer willpower and support (data) from an app (ironic because I hate apps), I quit smoking cold turkey thirteen years ago. 

Not a single drag since, and by far one of my favorite decisions.

***Side note: I also ditched gossip magazines unless I’m flying. Then, the mindless flipping keeps my mind at bay during take-off when I often imagine the plane spontaneously combusting at 10,000 feet – the joy of anxiety and a writer’s imagination. ✈️

Also (more) noteworthy: What happens when someone kicks the habit? The effects of the health benefits begin immediately and last the rest of your life.

According to the American Cancer Society:

Within minutes of smoking your last cigarette, your body begins to recover:

20 minutes after quitting		Your heart rate and blood pressure drop.
A few days after quitting		The carbon monoxide level in your blood drops to normal.
2 weeks to 3 months after quitting		Your circulation improves and your lung function increases.
1 to 12 months after quitting		Coughing and shortness of breath decrease. Tiny hair-like structures (called cilia) that move mucus out of the lungs start to regain normal function, increasing their ability to handle mucus, clean the lungs, and reduce the risk of infection.
1 to 2 years after quitting		Your risk of heart attack drops dramatically.
5 to 10 years after quitting		Your risk of cancers of the mouth, throat, and voice box (larynx) is cut in half. Your stroke risk decreases.
10 years after quitting		Your risk of lung cancer is about half that of a person who is still smoking (after 10 to 15 years). Your risk of cancer of the bladder, esophagus, and kidney decreases.
15 years after quitting		Your risk of coronary heart disease is close to that of a non-smoker.

These are just a few of the health benefits of quitting smoking for good, but there are others, too.

Quitting smoking lowers your risk of other cancers over time as well, including cancers of the stomach, pancreas, liver, cervix, and colon and rectum, as well as acute myeloid leukemia (AML).

Quitting also lowers your risk of diabetes, helps your blood vessels work better, and helps your heart and lungs.

Quitting smoking can also add as much as 10 years to your life, compared to if you continued to smoke. Quitting while you're younger can reduce your health risks more (for example, quitting before the age of 40 reduces the risk of dying from smoking-related disease by about 90%), but quitting at any age can give back years of life that would be lost by continuing to smoke.

Sadly, I remember puffing on and then eating those candy cigarettes when I was a kid –  a great idea to hook them young. I knew then that I would be a smoker. I also knew someday I would be a non-smoker. 

Thirteen years.

As always, thank you for stopping by. I’d love to hear your comments below. 

Until next time: Be creative. Find your wild side. Stay sane(ish). ✌️

A Writing Musing: Respect the Process

 A glimpse behind my creative curtain...

Respect the Process

The fiction writing has been going well, but it really is a process.

Brainstorming: The creation part, which is ALWAYS fun, is the beginning. This stage is messy and chaotic as I’m jotting loads of ideas and notes anywhere and everywhere (post-its, notebooks, napkins, receipts). I have multiple documents open on my computer (all very random). And I am actively talking to myself, playing out the actions and motives of the characters. 

Drafting: I make it all up as I tell myself the story. I have to understand what’s happening. What’s the first problem? What’s the goal of the character(s)? How will I complicate it for them? And what can I do to surprise the reader? This part is my favorite part. Of course, I usually come up with my best-complicated surprises in the shower or while I’m driving, and when I get to some sort of way to record my thoughts, they have all flittered away. Sometimes I chase them. Sometimes I wait for them to return…the good ones always do. 

This stage can be quick or long and drawn out (like now). It usually also involves various forms of rewriting and junk piling. At this point, I know the overview of the story, but scenes are still coming in scattered pieces, like a puzzle. I’m turning the pieces over, finding the edges, and putting similar ideas (pieces) together.  I can picture the final result, but seeing it complete before me is a long way away. 

Revising/Rewriting: The puzzle comes together. Once I finish the first draft, I’ll reread (over and over) to fine-tune it and polish it into a creatively stimulating story using nothing more than words (the ultimate goal). This part can be enjoyable (like when I come up with something good) or torture (like when I hit a wall or write myself into a corner). 

Editing: This is my least favorite part (perfecting the puzzle, pressing the pieces together, adding a gloss or glue), but it’s essential.  It always entails reading aloud, Grammarly, laughter, and tears. Sometimes, I seek out an extra set of eyes. However, if my work is bound for publication, I will hire a professional editor to critique and correct my writing. Nothing more embarrassing than a typo on the title page.   

Publishing: The final stage: sharing the best version with the public.

Where am I now? In the drafting stage, with two feisty and hard-to-control heroines: Em De Mone and Elle Kingsmith. These ladies and their crew of characters have been chattering and rattling around in my head most recently. These ladies are particularly interesting because their stories span many millennia and interconnect on multiple levels. But they are also very much the stars of their own stories. The experiences of their 20s (current WIPs) are not only happening in my head now, but their actions will vastly impact destiny. So technically, I’m creating the surprises and twists of future stories. 

To sharpen my storytelling skills, I’ve also been dabbling in nonfiction, writing short stories about teaching, or dogs, or life, or writing. 

I’m enjoying learning to respect the process as I create my writing journey. 

What’s next? A mixture of fiction and nonfiction musings. And hopefully, some exciting book news soon.