Thirteen Years

 

📷 credit: Tumisu

Thirteen Years 

I had to be in 8th grade, sitting on the back patio with my younger brother as he taught me to inhale a cigarette. We grew up with a smoker (in the car, the bathroom, the kitchen, and the living room). A cloud of smoke was normal, and for a LONG time, I thought of it as a sign of fun and sophistication.

Thank the heavens, perspectives change.

For many years (nineteen, to be exact), I was a die-hard smoker. I mean, it was so "relaxing" anytime. There was nothing better than a smoke after a good meal, especially if wine and adult beverages were involved. Or in the morning with coffee. Enjoying a book. After sex. In the car. On a break from work. Getting ready for a night out. All the time.

I lit up for just about any reason and was one of those young 20-somethings who would roll into the gym parking lot with a cig hanging out of my mouth and then light one up before I pulled out of the parking lot afterward. 

For many years, I justified my smoking by telling myself I’d quit when it caught up to me physically. I mean, I made it to the gym five times a week. I was 'healthy." One day, I noticed the new lines around my mouth and under my eyes. My skin was dull. And then, I had to pause at the top of the stairs. 

For the following six months, I smoked in blinding denial of the damage and havoc I was inflicting on my sweet meat suit, my temple, my body, the only home I have. Until one day, I saw things clearly and my denial fell away.

That day was Saturday, March 19, 2011.

I’d just returned home to Arizona after meeting my youngest niece for the first time. This entailed a quick (long) roundtrip cross-country road trip with a husband and two dogs, none of whom traveled well in a not-so-large vehicle. 

Upon returning to my cozy ranch outside of Phoenix, I made sure all was well, and all creatures were accounted for before I toddled out to the patio with my bottle of wine, a pack of smokes, and a stack of gossip magazines to decompress from travel. 

That Saturday night, I devoured the magazines, polished off the wine, and inhaled half the pack. 

It was the last time I smoked a cigarette. 🚭

Between sheer willpower and support (data) from an app (ironic because I hate apps), I quit smoking cold turkey thirteen years ago. 

Not a single drag since, and by far one of my favorite decisions.

***Side note: I also ditched gossip magazines unless I’m flying. Then, the mindless flipping keeps my mind at bay during take-off when I often imagine the plane spontaneously combusting at 10,000 feet – the joy of anxiety and a writer’s imagination. ✈️

Also (more) noteworthy: What happens when someone kicks the habit? The effects of the health benefits begin immediately and last the rest of your life.

According to the American Cancer Society:

Within minutes of smoking your last cigarette, your body begins to recover:

20 minutes after quitting		Your heart rate and blood pressure drop.
A few days after quitting		The carbon monoxide level in your blood drops to normal.
2 weeks to 3 months after quitting		Your circulation improves and your lung function increases.
1 to 12 months after quitting		Coughing and shortness of breath decrease. Tiny hair-like structures (called cilia) that move mucus out of the lungs start to regain normal function, increasing their ability to handle mucus, clean the lungs, and reduce the risk of infection.
1 to 2 years after quitting		Your risk of heart attack drops dramatically.
5 to 10 years after quitting		Your risk of cancers of the mouth, throat, and voice box (larynx) is cut in half. Your stroke risk decreases.
10 years after quitting		Your risk of lung cancer is about half that of a person who is still smoking (after 10 to 15 years). Your risk of cancer of the bladder, esophagus, and kidney decreases.
15 years after quitting		Your risk of coronary heart disease is close to that of a non-smoker.

These are just a few of the health benefits of quitting smoking for good, but there are others, too.

Quitting smoking lowers your risk of other cancers over time as well, including cancers of the stomach, pancreas, liver, cervix, and colon and rectum, as well as acute myeloid leukemia (AML).

Quitting also lowers your risk of diabetes, helps your blood vessels work better, and helps your heart and lungs.

Quitting smoking can also add as much as 10 years to your life, compared to if you continued to smoke. Quitting while you're younger can reduce your health risks more (for example, quitting before the age of 40 reduces the risk of dying from smoking-related disease by about 90%), but quitting at any age can give back years of life that would be lost by continuing to smoke.

Sadly, I remember puffing on and then eating those candy cigarettes when I was a kid –  a great idea to hook them young. I knew then that I would be a smoker. I also knew someday I would be a non-smoker. 

Thirteen years.

As always, thank you for stopping by. I’d love to hear your comments below. 

Until next time: Be creative. Find your wild side. Stay sane(ish). ✌️

Happy International Writers' Day

 

📷credit: Chen

Can I See Your ID? 

Last night, I cruised through Hit-N-Run (a drive-thru convenience store where a human comes to your car, takes your order, gathers your items from the store, and then brings them to you in your car).

The young clerk (probably 20-ish, but he looked 12) took my order.

Him: Can I see your ID?

Me: Aww…aren’t you sweet.
Him: Why’s that, ma’am (the tell-tale lingo for an old lady)?
Me (as I reach for my ID): Well, I’m gonna be 49 this year.
Him: You know, ma’am, 49 isn’t that old; it’s like middle age.
Me: I’m not sure I’m gonna make it to 100.
His face drops. Him: Oh yeah. I guess not. (Then he works really hard to recover). But you know, ma’am, you really only look about 32, maybe even 30.

He smiled at me and collected payment before he walked back inside. Grinning and giddy, but without any cash on hand, I rifled around the vehicle gathering, every last quarter I could find and gave them all to him as a tip. He thanked me profusely. And I him.

He was a sweet kid, and he's gonna need all his extra cash for a good eye doctor. 👀🤷‍♀️🤣

The End

I appreciate you stopping by. Feel free to leave your thoughts on this super-short Creative Nonfiction in the comments section. 

Until next time: Be creative. Find your wild side. Stay sane(ish). ✌️

~Aspen Hite

Out With the Old; In With the New

📷credit: Mohamed_hassan 

Out With the Old; In With the New

Time is a funny, fickle thing. In some moments, I feel silly and young and alive, like I’m 17, and in other moments, I’m tired, like I’ve lived 117 years and a thousand lifetimes. Somehow, in a way I don’t really understand, this year flashed in the blink of an eye. As 2023 ends, I like to reflect on how I spent the year. 

What have I been doing? My knee-jerk response is to shrug and say, “I don’t know. Nothing.” But in truth, I’ve been busy working, teaching, reading, resting, letting go of all that no longer serves, and easing into all that is meant for me. Some of it’s heavy stuff. 

But I’ve also been writing. In fact, I spent a good chunk of the year tuning out the world and writing. I am beyond grateful for that opportunity because the grown-up outside world can come knocking, like a wise guy barging in to break your legs. So, I am humbled and thankful for that time.

At the beginning of the year, I tried hard to have an online presence. However, convincing strangers I'm a writer takes a lot of work. It worked for a while (welcome to the odd time in the 21st century, where we talk more than we do). One day, I had nothing left to post on my blog, and I’d spent too much time focusing on social media. It was the literal antithesis of where I wanted to be. 

I needed a kick in the pants, so I got out of my comfort zone and went to a writers' conference. Not only were there some great workshops, but I also got feedback from industry professionals and pitched to an agent who asked to see the first 50 pages of my novel! It was an INVALUABLE experience. 

After some polish and shine, I sent the pages to the agent and waited, checking my email every ten minutes while simultaneously planning the agent’s delighted response. (Ever see A Christmas Story where Ralphie envisions his teacher’s joy at reading his essay? It was a bit like that.) She was going to love it. I was on Cloud Nine. This was it; my time had come. 

But I also had a genuine problem. I had embellished (it’s what writers do) the completion level of the novel. I was only about halfway through and still needed a middle, a climax, and an ending (roughly 30,000 words). I DID have an outline and an idea (or two). So I wrote. Tuned out the world, and spun a tale.

I put all my energy into finishing that novel. Short stories and blogs sat incomplete and unfinished. The online posts stopped. My reading slowed, and I almost forgot about my word game. The only thing in my crosshairs was telling that story. 

One day in mid-June, I finished. It wasn’t shiny and polished, but I’d told the tale. With nothing but radio silence from the agent, I let the first book simmer and immediately got to work on the second one. I was on a roll.

Finally, a response from the agent came. I was giddy until I opened the email. 

The agent passed on the story. To her credit, she was kind and even offered specific areas of improvement. And she was right, but now what? My dream of a smooth path to publication (after ten years) was just gone. Poof. Snap of the fingers. In one email. Gone. 

It took a hot second to allow the disappointment to fade, but then things became clearer: 

1. I’d made writing a priority, and I had two new novels and a third in rough outline form. All of it had been to show myself I could do it. 

2. It was time to stop fucking around. Stumbling around aimlessly, trying to be a writer was over.  I didn’t need any more ways to NOT write a bestseller. I needed to learn—the tricks of the trade, the ins and outs. 

So, after jumping through several flaming hoops and almost getting lost in paperwork, I’ve been accepted into a Master of Fine Arts in Writing program. 

Brand new story beginning January 2024. Is it going to lead me to a life of best-selling novels (and that private island I’m always going on about)? Probably not, but as I learn from local industry professionals, I’m open to discovering my niche to see where it leads. Hopefully, to a revenue-generating career where I can entertain people with stories and positively impact the lives of readers of all ages. Perhaps I wind up back in a classroom or write a Kids' Yoga book (better yet, the next bestseller turned Netflix series). Maybe self-publishing, editing, or freelance writing will fit my lifestyle better. Time will tell. 

For now, I’m embracing the present, celebrating the lessons of 2023, and having faith in the ebb and flow of the journey.

Endless possibilities loom on the horizon, each filled with challenges and lessons, all filled with learning and laughter (to keep me balanced). 

Wishing you a wonderful New Year. May 2024 bring you peace, joy, and blessings. 💜

Until next time… 

Be creative. Find your wild side. Stay sane(ish). 

Aspen Hite ✌️

A Writer Musing: Writer Workshop Day

A Writer Musing: Writer Workshop Day

I love to learn. I love to write. When I have the opportunity to learn more about writing, I’m giddy. 

Recently, I attended a Writers' Workshop in St. Louis, MO. Despite a sleepless night before, a dreary day, cold temps (in and out of the building), and a clogged ear making it hard(er) to hear, it was a fantastically awesome day.

The Four Classes 

Class #1: Common Pitfalls in Publishing

Hybrid author, Katie Otey, shared her writer-life experiences and advice. Invaluable information, plus she's a super cool lady. 

Class #2: Everything You Need to Know About Agents and Query Letters 

Kourtney Price laid all the nitty gritty for those pesky query letters and finding the right agent. 

Class #3: 10 Surefire Ways to Strengthen your Writing 

Kerrie Flanagan, author and facilitator of the event, not only gave us a list but also read real-world examples AND offered the audience opportunities to create smooth, fluid writing. 

Class #4: Pros and Cons of Traditional and Indie Publishing

Laura Benedict held nothing back as she delivered all the bottom-line details of traditional publication and self-publication. An eye-opening experience. 

Other Noteworthy Events

Agent Pitch: I pitched to esteemed literary agent Bonnie Swanson. It was a quick and dirty 10-minute segment. It was the highlight of the day!

Writer’s Got Talent: A First Page Critque-Fest

Every writer in attendance had the opportunity to anonymously enter the first page of their manuscript. Several were randomly selected to be read aloud not only to the group but also to a panel of industry professionals (authors, agents, and editors). 

As the narrator read the pages to the room, the panelist would hold up a hand whenever they would stop reading. At the end of each page, the panelists provided feedback. 

The first page was a paranormal genre and MINE! Holy hells. My heart ricocheted around in my chest, and at one point, I could barely hear the feedback (my clogged ear didn't help). Feverishly, I scribbled notes to reflect on when I got home. An absolutely priceless experience. 

My Takeaway:

The opportunity to learn from experts in the writing world changed my perspective and provided new insight. This workshop was the push I needed to propel my writing forward. 

A Writing Musing: Respect the Process

 A glimpse behind my creative curtain...

Respect the Process

The fiction writing has been going well, but it really is a process.

Brainstorming: The creation part, which is ALWAYS fun, is the beginning. This stage is messy and chaotic as I’m jotting loads of ideas and notes anywhere and everywhere (post-its, notebooks, napkins, receipts). I have multiple documents open on my computer (all very random). And I am actively talking to myself, playing out the actions and motives of the characters. 

Drafting: I make it all up as I tell myself the story. I have to understand what’s happening. What’s the first problem? What’s the goal of the character(s)? How will I complicate it for them? And what can I do to surprise the reader? This part is my favorite part. Of course, I usually come up with my best-complicated surprises in the shower or while I’m driving, and when I get to some sort of way to record my thoughts, they have all flittered away. Sometimes I chase them. Sometimes I wait for them to return…the good ones always do. 

This stage can be quick or long and drawn out (like now). It usually also involves various forms of rewriting and junk piling. At this point, I know the overview of the story, but scenes are still coming in scattered pieces, like a puzzle. I’m turning the pieces over, finding the edges, and putting similar ideas (pieces) together.  I can picture the final result, but seeing it complete before me is a long way away. 

Revising/Rewriting: The puzzle comes together. Once I finish the first draft, I’ll reread (over and over) to fine-tune it and polish it into a creatively stimulating story using nothing more than words (the ultimate goal). This part can be enjoyable (like when I come up with something good) or torture (like when I hit a wall or write myself into a corner). 

Editing: This is my least favorite part (perfecting the puzzle, pressing the pieces together, adding a gloss or glue), but it’s essential.  It always entails reading aloud, Grammarly, laughter, and tears. Sometimes, I seek out an extra set of eyes. However, if my work is bound for publication, I will hire a professional editor to critique and correct my writing. Nothing more embarrassing than a typo on the title page.   

Publishing: The final stage: sharing the best version with the public.

Where am I now? In the drafting stage, with two feisty and hard-to-control heroines: Em De Mone and Elle Kingsmith. These ladies and their crew of characters have been chattering and rattling around in my head most recently. These ladies are particularly interesting because their stories span many millennia and interconnect on multiple levels. But they are also very much the stars of their own stories. The experiences of their 20s (current WIPs) are not only happening in my head now, but their actions will vastly impact destiny. So technically, I’m creating the surprises and twists of future stories. 

To sharpen my storytelling skills, I’ve also been dabbling in nonfiction, writing short stories about teaching, or dogs, or life, or writing. 

I’m enjoying learning to respect the process as I create my writing journey. 

What’s next? A mixture of fiction and nonfiction musings. And hopefully, some exciting book news soon. 

A Mental Musing: Benefits and Tips to Journaling (Guest Blog)

Journaling does wonders for me in a variety of ways. And I wish I'd devoted more time to it when I was younger. This week, I’m sharing a great article from a fellow blog. Yes, it’s geared toward students, but aren’t we all students in this crazy study of life? 

Thank you, Psychology Writing, for sharing your wisdom and tips! 

Be well. 💜

~Aspen

HomeBlog How to Start & Keep a Mental Health Journal – Tips for Students

How to Start & Keep a Mental Health Journal – Tips for Students

Author

PsychologyWriting

Dec 12th, 2022

8min read

When was the last time you wrote in your journal? Many people associate keeping a journal with their childhood and the old-fashioned cliche “Dear Diary…”. However, modern research has shown that journaling has numerous benefits for your mental and physical health. Writing in a diary can:

• lower your anxiety,

• improve your memory,

• boost your immune system.

If you happen to feel stuck, overwhelmed, or dissatisfied with your life, this is your sign that you need to start journaling now. In this article, we’ll discuss how journaling can be good for you — physically, mentally, and emotionally. Psychology Writing experts have also prepared some inspirational ideas for your mental health journal to overcome the fear of a blank page.

What Is a Mental Health Journal?

Mental health journaling is the act of keeping a record of your feelings, thoughts, insights, ideas, and more.

Your mental health journal may exist in many forms. It can be kept on paper or your computer, written or drawn. The idea behind the whole process is to make your thoughts clearer by getting them out.

Why Keep a Mental Health Journal?

For some people journaling can be challenging especially as building new habits takes time and effort. However, a mental health journal can help you in many ways.

Continue reading: How to Start & Keep a Mental Health Journal – Tips for Students

Thanks so much for stopping by!

Please feel free to share your thoughts on this week's Guest Blog.

Next week, I'll be back with something fresh and new.

~Aspen ✌️

A Health Musing: Movement is Medicine

 And now for a nonfiction short…

📷credit: Thank you, Leonardo da Vinci and Pixabay Vector

Movement is Medicine

It was the late 80s, and I remember our two-story house as clear as day. Smack in the kitchen was a round yellow table. It was built into the home and attached to a desk and storage area. It was around that table everything changed. 

One day Dad came home from seeing a doctor, and life took a sharp turn down 2104 Healthy Ave. Suddenly dinners went from beef or pork to chicken, fish, and turkey burgers (they are NOT the same as beef burgers, especially for children under ten). All proteins went on the grill. It didn’t matter there was a -10 degree windchill; the grill was fired up and ready to cook healthy. We ripped out a large window, put in French doors, and extended the deck. To grill. To be healthy.

Breakfast shifted to a high-fiber cereal piled with wheat germ and then drowned in powdered milk (long before today’s vast choices of non-dairy). Thank goodness my brother and I didn’t have to endure the breakfast aspect of good health.  

And then, we cue the exercise. Yep, plop a loud whirling exercise bike in the living room. My Dad would ride that bike every night after work for at least 30 minutes. 

I didn’t understand it at the time and thought he was just a weird grown-up, but that was when he started taking his health very seriously. That was his precipice, and he jumped headlong into a commitment to a healthier lifestyle. In his 40s.  

Flash forward to today, in the second decade of the next century. Dad turned 84 at the beginning of 2023. He was also diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease in the summer of 2021. 

Wait, I thought this was about health? Keep reading.

Parkinson’s is not a one size fits all shoe. In fact, it’s uniquely designed for each individual. Symptoms and experiences can be vastly different for every person who has it. This can make it more complicated to treat.

The majority of folks get a diagnosis in their 50s or 60s. Of course, it has been known to show up in those younger (30s-40s). What’s not so common is a diagnosis in your 80s. 

Dad’s diagnosis came much later than average, and his symptoms are on the milder side (thank the heavens). Why? His neurologist believes his choice to live a healthier life and exercise regularly staved off the onset of Parkinson’s Disease. 

Take a moment to reread that: His neurologist believes his movement/exercise/healthy habits staved off the onset of Parkinson’s Disease. 

Movement. Getting up. Exercising. My Dad didn’t run triathlons or enter the UFC ring. He got on an exercise bike for 30 minutes a day and lifted light weights. He also made better food choices and chose to actively live his life: traveling, learning, and enjoying entertainment.

At this point,  he is responding well to medications and needs moderate amounts of artificial dopamine, which is fantastic. And he still moves EVERY day. We are all very lucky he made himself and his health a priority all those years ago.

So why share this? To celebrate Dad. Duh.

But also to acknowledge the truth: We only get one body/mind combo. If we treat it right now, it WILL function better later. Movement is a key factor in that equation. 

One last thought: You know, when we’re kids, we think our parents have it all figured out, but once we become adults, we realize how little they knew. They were just figuring it all out as they went along, too, like we are NOW.  

My Gen X folks…this is us… my kind, handsome Dad was our age when he decided to make changes. Changes that likely gave him 20 years… twenty extra years. GOOD years with grandchildren and family and travel and friends and laughter.  

The final bottom line is: Movement is medicine. Get up.

The End